To Sleep, Perchance To Dream
by Eich
Summary: A/U Tumblr prompt: you live across the hall and run to my appartment when you want to avoid your one night stands.
1. Chapter 1

_A / N: I've read the prompt somewhere que said: "you live across the hall and hide in my apartment When You want to avoid your one night stands ". It's been a while since I've wrote something , I believe this is my very first Gail x Holly fic , Inglês is not my first lenguage AND it was made on my phone so this is me apologizing in advance ok ?_

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><p><strong>To Sleep, Perchance to Dream (Gail X Holly AU)<strong>

On the back of your mind, you register the creak of your front door opening. It's very late for some and very earlier for others, and the fact that you live alone, with no close relatives around should just make this whole thing even more worrisome.

It should. But it doesn't.

You know who it is.

You did gave her a key after all. After getting tired of being ripped out of bed in the middle of the night just so you could let her in.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. You still wake up whenever she crosses that door, you just wanted to make sure she knew you didn't care to be her "fire escape" as she had called you once. That she was welcomed here whenever she needed, or wanted, the most.

The muffled sound of sock clad feet sliding through your wooden floor, makes you shift from the center of the bed and silently count the seconds until the mattress dips and a cold body climbs up to rest beside you.

There's a small smile on your face when you hear her pulling the covers up to her shoulders with a happy sigh, gripping tight at one of your pillows. She settles almost instantly and only then you open your eyes, risking a glance at the clock sitting on your bedside table. The red angry numbers burn on your eyes and tell you all you need to know, soon you decide not to think much and close them again.

"4:30? Really?"

Her groan is muffled by the pillow she had buried herself in. But in the dead silence of the night everything seems louder, clearer, more...real, even among the fogs of slumber still wrapped around your mind.

Her hand on your skin feels soft, almost ethereal, and warmer than it really is at this late hour when she has just abandoned her bed - for reasons you prefer not to think about - and crossed the cold hall of the building on her way to your apartment.

She attempts to shove your shoulder but in her sleepy state, it turns out to be more like a caress than anything else. Her palm sliding all the way across your cervical over to the mattress, sending shivers down your spine and a smile to spread across your face.

"Just go to sleep nerd."

And so you do.

You let yourself go knowing that there's someone else in her bed.

Knowing that only a few meters away there's someone whose body is soaked by her scent, marked by the feel of her body moving against its own, someone whose hands have wandered over curves and dips and soft skin, whose lips have tasted the sweetness that is her, whose eyes have witnessed the storm you long for.

You are pulled back into the land of dreams knowing you may never be as lucky as the faceless person lying over her sheets right now, and that, as much as it pains you, it doesn't really matter.

You have learned to take comfort in the fact that she may share her body with someone else for a while, but in the end she only ever shares her sleep with you.

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><p><em>That's is, please let me know what you think, thanks for reading it!<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you very, very much for all the lovely comments and all the support. You guys are amazing! I wasn't really planning on continuing this but I have some free time now and you guys convinced me into turning this to a multichapter...so…here's chapter two:_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

You're half way through your cup of coffee when the sound of running water catches your attention. Placing the newspaper down, you reach for the white "DAD" mug sitting on your cupboard filling it with the dark rich liquid and placing it over the countertop just as the blonde emerge from your bedroom. She's wearing a long sleeve grey shirt that covered just over the middle of her thighs, barefoot and tousled hair;

Gail does not makes this easy for you.

You try not to stare as she make her way to the kitchen, but you know you're doing a terrible job at hiding it. At least she's too sleepy to notice, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

There's a little tug on your heart.

It's too easy to imagine this as something else.

Too easy to picture her as the girlfriend that wakes up to the smell of your coffee after spending the night at your bed.

In another life, in that other life, she would have come home to you after her shift last night, you would be waiting for her with pesto sauce pizza and beer and some old movie she would make faces at but wouldn't be able to take her eyes from the screen. You would share histories from your day, you would hear her complaining about all the other Rookies but would be able to see the affection in her eyes as she mentions them. You would cuddle on the couch and then, when the credits started to roll, you would have pulled her to bed and kissed her goodnight before holding her close as she fell into slumber.

She would have slept in your arms all night and you would probably wake up to a numb arm, but it wouldn't have mattered. You would still be able to feel her.

Right here, though, right now, in this world you call real, she's only a friend. You best friend, that's true, but a friend nonetheless.

She hasn't come home to you, but went out to have drinks with her friends. There wasn't pizza, beer and movies, but tequila, flirts and shared cabs to her apartment. You will still hear about her day and the other Rookies but there will also be _him_, with lucky she will only mention _him_ once or twice never getting into any details. There weren't cuddles, but articles and papers. No holding her to sleep, but waking up to her sneaking into your bed late at night.

You're still able to feel her, but it's only as a breeze. Passing by. Never staying. Never belonging.

You swallow the lump in your throat, cursing yourself for wondering that far.

You're such a cliché it's ridiculous.

Falling for the straight girl, who happens to be your best friend AND your neighbor. What the hell, Holly! You supposed to be smarter than that!

With a sigh you turn your backs to her, getting a refill.

The groan followed by a small bang informs you that Gail has reached her destination. Looking over you shoulder you see her perched over your countertop and can't help but to chuckle at the adorableness that is cranky Gail Peck in the mornings.

"Good morning, sunshine" you nudges her arm with the warm mug. She groans at your nickname once more, but reaches out to grab the coffee as you walked pass her and into the living area.

Couple of minutes go by before she comes to sit on the carpet in front on the TV, resting her backs on the couch you're currently lying on with one of you medical journals.

The sound of cartoons fills your ears and it isn't until fifteen minutes latter that she throws her head back, resting it on you knees, and turns to look at you. "Good morning, Nerd."

You puts away your reading material and smile at her spiky hair, reaching out to comb your fingers through it.

"Tough night?"

She closes her eyes and turns to the ceiling, practically purring at the gesture. Not that you will ever tell her that. Gail Peck doesn't purrs! But then again there is a lot of things Gail Peck doesn't do that you've already witnessed.

"I'm good. I just need another coffee." Her eyes shot open. "And donuts! We need go get donuts Hols!"

See?! Adorable! "...Ok"

"Do you know if the eagle has left the nest?" Your fingers freeze mid air, her words reminding you of things you do not want to think about.

She looks at you expectantly, but you simply bend your knee, signing for her to give you some room to move your legs, and get up.

"I didn't heard anything."

You bring your mug to the sink and the sound of the TV dies out.

"You ok?"

God no, you're far from ok. But you can't tell her that. If you did you would have to explain the reason why...and that's something you can't bring yourself to do.

So you simply dry your hands on the towel and brings the coffee pot to refill her mug. "Yes, of course."

She stares at you in a way that makes you curse her police side. Thankfully, though, she doesn't say anything else and you quickly changes the subject.

"Aren't you afraid to leave the 'eagles' all alone?" She knows you're mocking the 'codename', you do it every time, but she ignores your tone and answers any way.

"Why should I?"

"Don't get me wrong, but they are practically strangers. That you leave alone. In your house." She raises her eyebrows taking another sip and you brace yourself on your hands mimicking her action. "The same place where you keep all your things..." You trail off and she brushes the end of her sleeve over her eye.

"Why would I get you wrong?" She yawns before take another sip. "You're right."

When she doesn't say anything else, you can't help but to chuckle at her. "Well, that was enlightening."

You sit beside her on another barstool, doing your best not to notice how high the shirt sits on her thighs. Her hand rests on your forearm and her breath tickles your cheeks as she leans closer.

"I do have some standards Hols." There's no hurt feeling on her voice, but still you turn to her with an apology sitting on your tongue. When you look at her, though, she has a sweet smile plastered on her face. It doesn't last long, however, and soon she's grinning at you, as if telling you a secret. "And a safe."

"What?" You laugh and she shrugs. "I don't have many things that are worth stealing. It would be at little weird to see someone walking out with a TV so I just keep all my valuable things on a safe."

"That's what I call an investment."

Gail tilts her empty mug at me. "That's what I call safe sex, Nerd."

"You are crazy, you know that, right?" You watch as she gets up an walks towards the sink.

"So I've been told." Turning around she leans back. "You are a doctor and you're still here, so it can't be that bad, right?"

She looks so beautiful right now. Well, she is always beautiful, but in this light and in this moment the sight of her makes your heart clench on your chest and you hands tingle. You want to reach out and touch her, run your fingers through her cheek and over her lips, and so you fist both your hands beneath the counter where she can't see them. "Oh no, it is bad. That's why I'm here."

"Ouch." Her eyes wide in fake shock. "And here I though you liked me."

She has no idea.

"Just a little."

Your voice is softer than intended and for a moment you think something stirs behind her eyes, she's about to say something but seems to change her mind and she chooses to stay in silence instead. Your eyes remain locked for a moment and she blushes a little, before you can be sure of what you're seeing, though, she shakes her head, waving a finger at you.

"And that's why you're taking me to get donuts!" Averting her eyes she looks down at herself. "But I need a shower first."

She walks past you and you turn on the seat. "Meet you downstairs in half an hour?"

Gail nods as she reaches for the doorknob. "Wish me luck Nerd, I going in."

Without another word she's gone closing the door behind her. Your eyes shut almost immediately and your head falls to the counter with a groan. Seconds pass before you laugh at yourself, maybe you're spending a bit too much time around Gail…ok, you know you're spending a lot of time around her.

But as much as you know that is not good for you, there isn't much you can do about it.

Is there?

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! Oh is this "second person" thing too weird? I started to write it like that without stopping to think about it. Please let me know what you think.<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks you very much for all the lovely comments! I'm sorry for the waiting, but updates must be more constant now, I had some problems with this chapter but I think I'm happy with it.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

"You do know there's a least another five bakeries we could go, right?"

You know that's not truth, though, this is Gail and this are her Saturday morning donuts. There's only one place to go. Still, you need to complain a bit, even if is just to pass the time while you both wait on the line.

She takes her eyes from the menu and turns to face you, mouth open and eyes wide. You don't know if you laugh at her shocked expression – not a very smart move -, if you apologize and offer to buy her yet another sweet treat, or if you just stare at her deep blue eyes. God those eyes can do weird things with your mind – and your body, but lets no go there in broad day light on a public place.

Gail crosses her arms and take a step towards you.

"Did you really just said what I think you said?"

Ok, maybe you could have found a different way to pass the time.

"Is just that is always so busy and you always get the same thing, maybe we could make a change and go to another bakery?"

You make your best whining, that you most likely learned from her, and put on a mocking frown. Her lips curl upwards for a moment, but only for a moment, before she resume her stand.

"This is my favorite bakery, Dr. Steward. It IS called favorite for a reason you know?" You watch as she sighs in exasperation. "For a Nerd you can be a little slow sometimes."

"Of course this is your favorite bakery, is the only one you come to." Gail gives her back to you, and you chuckle at her childishness. Even though she knows you're just teasing she seems personally offended by the idea.

You don't need to see her face to know she is pouting and you don't need to be a genius to know you will be giving in to any of her wishes. You've been doing it ever since she moved into your building, crashing into your life, sneaking into your heart.

You know you will be coming into this bakery every Saturday for as long as you can after sheltering her from the "eagles" she keeps choosing over you. No, that's not right, she has chosen you for the bigger role, you're a constant in her life not only a passing visitor. Or at least that's what you tell yourself. You should be grateful, flattered even, and you are, you really are…is just…

Sighing you lower your head with a sad laugh to yourself. You're so screwed. This is so messed up.

Taking a deep breath you look up again and smirk, once you can't do anything about this heaviness on your chest you might as well have some fun with your best friend.

Sneaking behind her, you pass your arm around Gail's middle being careful not to touch her, you grab a corner of the menus she's been holding and keep your fingers still. The heat radiating from her body envelops you as you press yourself closer to her but you ignore it for now, you've become quite good at doing that.

When your front touches her back, you feel as she stiffens for a moment. "Maybe is time for you to start trying something new officer Peck." You whisper on her ear before pulling the menu from her hands.

Gail turns to you with cheeks flushed and mouth hanging open, making you laugh. During your time with her you've learned that her pale complexion can be rapidly changed by her humor, and yes, you do like to make her blush with your playfully flirts and banters. There is something about watching her porcelain skin turning slightly red that makes you want to smile. Gail can be all hard on the outside but you can see the tiny little gaps she has on her façade. You love when she allows you a glimpse through the small openings.

Gaps, not cracks. She is not broken. Gail is a fighter, a survivor, a warrior and so she just needed an armor around her.

You know people misunderstand her, but in a way you are grateful for this protection she has built over the years. She has told you enough stories about her childhood, her mother, her family and her past relationships – the "Nicholas incident" included – for you to know that this armor was precisely the one thing that prevented her from getting broken.

Gail had her fair share of pain, that's true, but you are happy she managed to protect herself just in time to save herself.

You keep your eyes on the menu, trying not to laugh, while expecting Gail's come back. and so you don't see the way she's looking at you.

You miss the way she wet her lips before releasing a long breath.

You will never know the words that were hanging at the back of her throat, dying to come out but being swallowed back.

You keep your eyes on the menu and you miss the intensity behind her eyes, just like you miss the inevitable crash. All you feel is the bump on your arm and the coffee being spilled all over the side of your coat.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Gail hisses at the stranger before grabbing your hand "Hols you're ok?"

"Is ok Gail, I'm alright."

She pulls at your coat keeping it away from your body. "Are you sure?"

"Yes" You raise your eyes and see her worried expression. "My coat got the worst of it, thankfully."

"I'm sorry, I should have been more careful." You turn your head to the voice and found a woman sheepishly looking at you, she shake her head as she speaks again. "There's barely enough space to move on this place."

"It was nothing, really." You offer her a small smile before turning back to Gail. "I'll just go to the bathroom try to clean it up a bit."

"I'll go with you."

She starts to pull you towards the back of the room, you refuse to move, though, placing a hand on top of hers. "No, no, you stay in line is almost our turn just…get me the usual."

"Sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

You nod at her but before you can take a step the woman is by your side.

"I'll help."

"I think you helped enough lady." Gail scolds at the poor woman and from the side of your eyes you see her flinching at the tone. This is turning to be quite an eventful morning.

You sigh Gail's name but before you can apologize for her behavior the woman steps in, keeping her eyes on you at all times. To be fair, you would not have wanted to be caught on a staring contest with those angry blue eyes either.

"She's right, but is the least I can do." She takes a strand of hair from her face giving you an apologetic smile. "Please?"

"Yeah." You find yourself smiling back without even noticing. "I'd appreciate the help."

Usually you love the rich scent of coffee, but when it is covering half of your clothes and following your every move, you find it to be a little nauseating. Frowning at this new discovery, you take off the coat even before the bathroom door is totally closed.

Her footsteps stop behind you and you hear the sound of her picking some paper towels for you. "Again, I'm so sorry about this I'm usually not so clumsy."

"This place is really full." You barely look up before starting to gently scrub the fabric. "Accidents happen."

She chuckles and sits over the sink. "I thought your girlfriend was going to throw a coffee machine at me."

"Gail?!" That image makes you laugh, you could definitely see Gail doing that if it had been more serious. "I won't say she wouldn't. But she's just my friend." You shruggles at her, noticing how she has been nervously playing with her hands and smiling.

"Oh." She leans over the side of the counter to inspect your work. "This is going to stain, let me have it dry cleaned for you."

You raise your head and, for the first time, you notice that her eyes have more colors blended together than you can count. At first sight they seem brown, much like yours, but now that she's closer you can see some honey and yellow and maybe even a little bit of…green? They are very different from the ones that have been hunting you for some time now – Gail's eyes are as blue as the clearest sky – but they are also very beautiful.

She looks at you expectantly, making you realize you may have been staring a little longer than you should have. "It's not..." You feel yourself blushing and quickly clears your throat. "…not necessary."

"Maybe not." The side of her mouth turns into a half grin and her legs start to swing. Is it wrong to find her this cute? "But I want to do it."

You smile back and folds the coat into a messy bun, extending it to her. "Ok."

"Good." Hopping out of the counter she takes it from your hands. "So…can I have your number? Maybe we can set some place for me to get the coat back to you." She takes a step closer. "Get some drinks?"

Did she…did she just...asked you out?

"Do you make a habit of throwing hot drinks on girls just to ask for their numbers?"

She chuckles, but her eyes remain locked on yours as she replies. "Just on beautiful ones."

The room suddenly seems hotter than when you had hot coffee spilled all over you, still, you keep with the light flirt. Is been so long since you've done this with someone that isn't Gail.

"And if I say no?" You raise an eyebrow and you can see she's fighting to keep a straight face, God this is so refreshing, you can't help but to feel a little like a school girl.

Raising the folded coat, she waves it in front of you. "Then I'll have to keep this little fellow here."

You gasp a little too dramatically. "Assault and bribery?"

"What can I say?" She shruggles, giving you a little smirk. "I girl got to do what a girl got to do. You never answered my question."

Taking a deep breath, you remain silent.

This is not what you were expecting, you didn't come here to have coffee spilled all over you and you certainly didn't come here looking for a date, you're here only to grab some donuts for your friends and some other pastries for you so you two could go back to your apartment and watch some movies. This is the way you've been spending your Saturdays for almost a year now. Gail is how you've been spending all of your free time for almost a year now, and even thought you don't want to change it deep down you know that you should.

This crazy situation you have buried yourself in with Gail isn't healthy for your sanity, or your heart, you are well aware of that and to be honest you're just not sure how much longer you can take it. You know you will break eventually and when that happens you're still not sure how you'll be able to pull yourself back together.

Rachel and Lisa know that too, as does your sister. They have been warning you, and they have been trying to drag you out of this hole even against your will. You've lost count of how many dates they have tried to set you up with, you went out a few times, just to make them happy and easy their concern, but you always knew it wouldn't be anything more than that.

You never wanted it to be.

Maybe you just wasn't ready to let go.

Wasn't?...But are you now?...Will you ever be?

You don't know how long you've been lost inside your own mind, but it must have been a few long minutes because now her eyes are widening and she's taking a step away from you. You immediately realize you don't want her to. "Look I'm sorry." She shake her head looking at the ground. "I can just have this delivered if you pref…" Before she can finish her sentence you have your mind make up, so you fishing a card from your pocket and put it on her hand.

She's confused by your action but with one glance at the paper in her hand, she is giving you a huge smile.

It makes you just a little more sure of your decision.

"I'm Holly." You matches her smile and she hugs your coat a little closer. "Taylor."

This doesn't mean anything yet, you don't know if it will even mean something at all, but for the first time seems Gail has entered your life you are willing to find out.

Maybe you wasn't ready before…but maybe you are ready now…maybe this means that someday you'll be able to call Gail your best friend and don't feel the sting inside your chest. Maybe this means that someday you'll be able to hug her and breath at the same time. Maybe this means that this heaviness on your chest doesn't have to be there forever.

Maybe, just maybe, this means that you will be ok.

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><p><em>That's it, please let me know what you think and thanks for reading! :)<em>


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